Subtle Signs of Parental Alienation After a Divorce

 Posted on January 13, 2025 in Child Custody / Allocation of Parental Responsibilities

Even when you go in with the best of intentions, a divorce can put a strain on your relationship with your child. Children – especially young children – may not be able to comprehend the reasons for a divorce. They might see things in black-and-white, which naturally comes with feelings of hurt and betrayal. The emotional turmoil caused by the family splitting up may leave a child susceptible to parental alienation, a form of child abuse wherein one parent manipulates a child to reject the other parent.

If you believe you have been subjected to parental alienation, you may have legal recourse to mend your relationship with your child and adjust your parenting plan accordingly. A St. Charles, IL family law attorney at Shaw Sanders, P.C. can help you identify the signs of parental alienation to address the problem as soon as possible.

Avoidance

Does your child seem to be avoiding you? Do things seem to conveniently "come up" last minute during your scheduled parenting time? Has your child or co-parent flat-out told you that your child does not want to see you? All of this could lend credible suspicion to the idea that your co-parent is attempting to sabotage your relationship with your child.

You should carefully document any instances of denied parenting time, as you may be able to have that time made up for later. Moreover, if your child seems reluctant to be around you without good reason, you should broach the subject carefully and gently ask your child about the reason for his or her withdrawal.

Unexplained Hostility

In some cases, hostility can be a blatant indicator of parental alienation. If your child repeatedly lashes out against you without guilt, there is a good chance that his or her feelings stem from deliberate parental alienation. This hostility may also extend to close relatives the child sees on your spouse’s side of the family, like grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles. 

Not all outbursts come from a place of parental alienation, however. Keep in mind that divorce can be a traumatic experience for a child, and that your child may just be dealing with age-appropriate angst. If your child repeatedly lashes out or says things that sound rehearsed or coached, however, you may have cause for concern.

Lack of Communication From Your Co-Parent

If your co-parent is strangely unresponsive about issues regarding your child, it could be a subtle attempt at reducing your presence as a parent. For instance, your co-parent failing to communicate important details about your child’s school or extracurricular activities or withholding information about your child’s life could qualify as parental alienation.

Co-parents do not have to be friends, but there is an expectation that they should set their differences aside for the sake of the child. When a parent does not communicate with the other out of spite, it could have a drastic effect on the family dynamic.

Meet With a Kane County, IL Family Law Attorney

Going through a divorce with children is difficult, even more so if your co-parent is attempting to turn your child against you. At Shaw Sanders, P.C., a St. Charles, IL family law attorney can advocate for your rights as a parent, making sure your ex is held accountable for undermining your relationship with your child. To schedule a free consultation with our firm today, call our offices at 630-584-5550.